Let’s Go Fly A Kite (And See If We Can Pee Our Troubles Into The Wind)

Little B brandishing her kite-flying chops today.

When the going gets tough, the tough go kite-flying.

This past week has probably been one of the craziest, busiest of my life — and yet I did not do a stitch of work.

Of course there’s the whole critical illness insurance debacle, which has caused equal amounts of anger from friends who couldn’t believe that I had a mastectomy but didn’t get a payout, as it did from insurance agents who weren’t so happy that I was ripping CI coverage apart with my bare hands (or pens). See my next post “The Vampires Strike Back”.

Then, faced with the frustration of not being able to sit and work at my laptop for more than 90-120 minutes at a go (I set an egg timer on my desk to remind myself to get out of my seat every 90 minutes), I went to see my partner to tell her the bad news that I couldn’t carry on. Being her, she jumped to a solution that bought us both some time. I don’t know if I can get over this in time to move on along with her, but God has given me a partner who really is in it with me, and I thank Him for her.

On top of it all, my mother-in-law’s maid (who does the cooking) asked to go on home leave these 2 weeks (school hols! Murder!). But her father is undergoing an operation and she wants to be home, so she left last night, and we won’t have her back for 16 days.

To add on to that, my maid (who helps me with Little B) got a job in the Netherlands, thanks to her sister who lives there. So she’s leaving us in three weeks, and Little B’s heart will be just a little bit broken… I am very very NOT looking forward to that.

Plus I pulled my back on Sunday, catching Little B before she leaped over two chairs.

So … fed up with staying home stewing over my list of “issues” I packed the Three Bs, the maid and the mother-in-law and we headed for Marina Barrage, which I had only experienced at the Social Entrepreneurship Awards last November.

There is something liberating about flying a kite. You just have to be ready, and when the wind catches your kite, it pulls it up, up, up into the heavens, and all you are staring at is your moth/face/Doraemon (or in my son’s case, a sotong) and God’s big blue sky.

But it takes patience. Often I try to run around catching the wind, like I’m catching a break. It doesn’t work — the kite flutters and spins and then, plooop, falls nose first to the ground.

But if I stand and wait, holding my kite ready, feeling for the moment that the wind willingly sweeps it up and draws it higher, higher, it’s like my kite could fly on forever.

Yesterday my cell group leader’s wife called me. She has been through her own horror story of DVT, a broken leg, PTSD, but by God’s amazing grace, she is up and at it today, fit as a fiddle, travelling for mission work. I guess it really makes a difference when someone speaks to you who has walked that road before, who knows the moments you feel so hard done by you just break down and cry, who understands the depths of the emotions that are triggered by something as simple as a hug.

She reminded me that God saved my life. That I was rescued for a reason. That my blog has helped many in various ways. That I have been given a gift — that is, to write — and that I must use it.

It made me think, I have used my writing skills less and less as the years went by. I’ve entered into “editing mode”, and now that I think about it, it’s the editing that stresses me out. The reading, the correcting, the restructuring (the vomiting…). It offers me no joy; it is a job to be done. Period.

Which is not to say I don’t enjoy the planning and the thinking part of being an editor. I love it. But maybe, as her words sank into me, it’s time to go back to my gift: To write.

I joked that I am having writer’s block, and she snorted. “You just need to be the vessel. God will speak through you. The Holy Spirit will bring the anointing. You just need to be willing, and to obey.”

I just need to be that kite, waiting for the wind beneath my wings to carry me up, to raise me higher, to do in me what I am created to do. I cannot do it in my own strength, like a kite is useless without wind and an anchor.

But with Him all things are possible.

Big B's sotong in the sky.

Of course, my Three Bs did not have such an epiphany as I, but they each had their turn at bringing that kite up, up, up into the sky, and — like any proud mom would say — they were real naturals.

Finally, sunburnt, and with the breeze becoming intermittent, we called it a day and headed for lunch, and finally, a well-deserved ice kacang at Terminal 3.