Pre-Surgery Rush Hour 1

Wednesday 23 June

It struck me when I woke up this morning that I literally have 2 days to get everything in order before I go in for surgery.

I’m dashing about trying to get all my stories fixed up for next week — the 6 stories that will go live on Nanzinc.Com. I’m suddenly realising I do have to tell some people about what’s happening to me, like my freelance editorial team. They send me a beautiful arrangement of cheerful gerberas from Greeting Cuts, and better yet, assure me that everything will go smoothly while I am in hospital.

I tell Nanz, who bursts into tears and prays like a hailstorm for me. This woman was once my cell group leader, and really, it was her faith that inspired my faith and brought me thus far. “I see this black cursed thing at the foot of Jesus,” she Blackberry-Messengers me. I, too, pray the cancer falls out of me like a black lump — I’ve read it in books about Smith Wigglesworth and Kathryn Kuhlman. Surely the God who healed those people is the same God who will heal me.

I tell my partner from my writing agency WORD, Michelle. She is shocked into vulgarities, but quickly composes herself and jumps to offer help in 109 ways.

I tell the head of City News, a newspaper at which I work part time. She’s utterly shocked, and immediately tells me not to worry about the paper. I’m grateful for the team I work with, they are more capable than they give themselves credit for.

Okay, so now all the ongoing work is kind of sorted out, I move on to bills. Pay all credit card bills. Check that there’s enough money in the account for the GIRO payments. Cash for the tutors. Allowance for the kids. Pay for the maid.

I think for a moment about my will, last drawn up in 2003. Perhaps, foolishly, I decide against looking at it again. I am sure I am going to come out of this alive.

I’m exhausted after hours of “admin” work. It’s really not my strength. But better to get it over with. I can’t imagine stressing over paperwork when I’m home trying to recover…

Cancer is proving more of an inconvenience than I first imagined.

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